Moving In Your Loved One

The task of moving in a parent, spouse, and sometimes (and we have a resident like this) your child into a nursing home will become the hardest task you will have to endure other than that person's death. You have made the tour and talked with the administrative staff, Social Services (provided by the facility), and the Dircetor of Nurses has interviewed you and your loved one. You want to make this transition as smooth as possible.
Every nursing home I have worked always has a furnished room: bed, bedside dresser, bedside table, sometimes a recliner or comfortable room chair, closet, bathroom and sink area if a single room and 2 beds in the shared rooms and 2 closets or wardrobes. If your loved one is in what is called a Medicare room, yes they cannot own any property, but if they have private insurance, they can own whatever they want. (There are some other guidelines and policies that go along with this, but you can find out more from the Administrator or Social Services Director.) If your loved one has any furniture they prefer to have to make their room more like home, by all means, that is their right. Most facilities are not so staunch about the furnishings as to deny a resident what reminds them of home. They should welcome this! I remember years ago at another facility I use to work, allowed a couple to move their whole bedroom furniture into their room. They were the happiest couple in the facility! If you want your loved one to feel at home, give them what came from their home so they don't feel like they are living in a strange place, but THEIR place.
Secondly, bring them clothes to wear! I emphasize this mainly because I go into a new resident's room in the morning intended to dress them for breakfast, go into their dresser or closet and find nothing or next to nothing for them to wear. I swear to you, I have found this! I remember having to put a robe on one man over his pajamas because he had nothing in his closet or dresser to wear. Yes there are facilities that have clothing families have donated for such an occasion when their family member died, but at 6:00 in the morning, we aides do not have access to that area.
Then you have those residents who have clothes, but the clothes are ill-fitting, either too big or too small-mostly too small. This is mostly in the pants because often that person must wear an attend (adult diaper) or adult pull-ups because of a change in their bodily functions. This new kind of underwear is much bulkier than normal underwear. They will need larger pants, but believe me, there is nothing wrong with sweat pants. In fact, most of them prefer sweat pants or elastic waist pants. There is also the fact that some gain or loose weight due to illness, lack of mobility, and age. Ill fitting clothes look unsightly and takes away from that person's self respect and dignity. Before hand, make sure their clothes fit and if you need to, buy them some clothes. We all know how expensive clothes are these days, but second-hand clothing shops are wonderful places to shop.
For the ladies, please bring them their own bras or bras that fit them. Their skin is much more fragile when they are older and a ill-fitting bra will dig right into their flesh that can cause infectious sores. What may benefit them as an alternative are Cammies and undershirts with an inside bra. These can be much more comfortable for then and they will still look nice.
If you cannot do your love one's laundry and wish for the facility to do their laundry, put your love one's name on the clothing yourself with a permanent marker. You can do this in advance before making the move. The best place in tee shirts, underwear, shirts, and pants is on the tag if it is big enough, but if it isn't, put their name just inside the band so it is easily seen by the laundry personnel. With socks, place name under the foot area so people do not see writing coming out of their shoes. Mostly, you want to ensure their name is not shown on the outside of their clothing which can make the clothing look bad on them. The facility and the aides would greatly appreciate the help, but will gladly do this for you. This will also help in filling out the inventory sheet they or you will need to fill out anyway.
Like I said before: You want your loved one to feel as much at home as possible. Their transition may become smoother if they come to the facility with their things already moved into their room and possibly arranged like their room at home. This can greatly help them feel more at home, less confused, and soften the blow to their new living arrangements.
Not all of us has the luxury of time, but when it comes to making this necessary move, take the time for the sake of your loved one. The sacrifice of time you give them will improve their time there.