YOU WANT TO PUT ME WHERE? (Part Two)

This is a time to think about what is important. In the last blog, I suggested we place ourselves in the other person's shoes. An effective route of placing oneself in another's shoes is to visit the nursing homes nearest you for certainly, you will want your loved one close. That loved one will be more receptive to the idea if, in fact, they know family is near by and will commit themselves to visiting often. Think about it. How far away is your family and how often do you see them? If they are close, what if they were several states away and you only saw them on the holidays--maybe.
Another advantage will be staff who are from your same community or a close community your loved one will know and appreciate seeing daily. This can really cut down on the loneliness. Invite some of the staff members you know to visit your loved one (make sure they have a positive attitude about their work and where they work) and talk with your loved one about the nursing home. The greatest advantage will be if your loved one knows someone who is a resident at the nursing home and is willing to testify to their care at the nursing home.
I do caution that you do your homework before allowing your loved one to interview staff and other residents (as long as your loved one is lucid enough to conduct the interview.) If you want to sell a loved one on the idea, conduct your own interview sessions:
>Go inside and inspect the building:
What is the first thing you smell? If it is urine, walk back out. This is the last thing you want to experience because this means one or more individuals have not been taken care of.
Look at the care of the building. Is it clean? It may be an old building, but can you tell the building is clean? I'm not saying it has to have the look and smell of a new building, but people know if a building is maintained. Again, smell is important.
>Look at the residents.
The best time to see residents in a group is just before mealtime. Most facilities' mealtimes are 7:00 AM, Noon, and 5:00pm. In order for the residents to go into the dining area on time, they will be wheeled or sitting in the lobby area or in the dining area. A good time to visit is 30 minutes before mealtime that way you can see the residents more as a goup.
Do the residents look clean? Is their hair brushed neatly? Are they talking among themselves or yelling for something. If they are yelling, are they being attended to? Realize, sometimes all the resident needs is reassurance by hearing the sound of a person's voice and a nurse may just talk with the resident from her desk. Listen to how the nurse talks to the resident who yells. Does she yell back or does she speak to the resident in a calm tone or bring the resident closer to her to assure the resident.
>Look at the staff.
Do they look clean and professional? Understand that nurses aides and nurses have a physically challenging job, therefore, they will look a bit ruffled and their uniform may look a bit unkempt. I ofter look myself in the mirror after serving and feeding breakfast that my professional image is undesirably unkempt and if I have time, will try to straighten myself up more neatly. Sometimes I wish I could carry a clean uniform and take a shower after giving a shower. How does the staff respond to the residents, especially the yelling resident? How does the staff respond when you enter the building? Do they greet you with a smile? Do they treat you like a guest in the home of the residents? If the administrative staff are there, do they act nervous or are they relaxed? When you talk with any member of the staff, do they listen to you? How do they answer your questions, especially what may sound like a negative question or comment? Are they willing to show you the latest state evaluation book?
>Finally, talk with some of the residents.
I remember the first time I visited the nursing home I am presently working. I visited a lady from my community who had tutored my youngest son before she had to move into the nursing home. I was wonderfully impressed with how the staff treated her immediate need, then had a positive visit with this lady. I later informed my co-workers during an inservice that it was this visit that helped me to decide to work there.
If you have a positive experience in your visit or visits, most likely you can share your positive experience with your loved one and your loved one will have a positive experience also.
Understand that the information I am giving can help, but it does not mean it will be effective. You will not always have a good experience when visiting the nearest nursing home and if you don't, I strongly advise you tell the administrative staff about the experience. They are responsible for what happens in that building and they have to know what is wrong so they can fix the problems. Don't always assume they already know. It is not always a bad thing to see what is going on through a visitor's eyes. By the way, explain why you are there. They want to ensure everyone is safe within the building and they have privacy rules that they must follow to protect the residents.